How Misunderstanding the Purpose of Education is Leading to Chaotic Parenting

Let’s start with something most of us don’t often say out loud: we’ve all misunderstood education. Yes, you heard that right. We've packed a lot of hope and anxiety into this one word, expecting school, grades, and degrees to unlock success, security, and happiness. But have you ever stopped to think what education really means beyond all that?When I talk to parents, I hear the same story again and again. “I want my child to do well in school so they can have a stable career. I’m investing in their education because it’s the only way to make a living.” It sounds reasonable, right? Who doesn't want a good future for their kids? But here’s the catch: when education becomes only about the return on investment—jobs, money, status—we lose sight of something much deeper.You see, the real purpose of education isn’t just about preparing for a job or getting that coveted degree. It’s about learning the vast reservoir of knowledge that humans have gathered over centuries and, more importantly, about discovering who we truly are. Education is about facts and history, yes, but it’s also about understanding ourselves—our strengths, passions, doubts, and dreams.

Now, imagine a child being told, day in and day out, “You must learn this, you must excel in that,” while many of those things don’t connect with their true nature. On one hand, parents keep their eyes locked on outcomes like good marks and career prospects. On the other, children feel bewildered because what they’re asked to learn doesn’t always resonate with who they really are or want to become. This disconnect is often where the chaos begins.


I remember one conversation with a mother who said, “My son is intelligent and curious, but he hates math class. I push him because I want him to be successful. But every day, the tension just grows, and I see him shutting down.” That frustration is common. Parents feel stuck, wondering why their efforts aren’t working. Children, meanwhile, feel lost and sometimes even broken, as if they’re failing at something they don’t understand.And it’s not just about school struggles. This confusion seeps into the very fabric of the parent-child relationship. When children feel misunderstood, trust wanes. When parents feel helpless, frustration turns to disappointment. Neither side really wants a battle, but it often feels like one anyway.What about the child’s future after all this schooling? When education is disconnected from self-awareness, it’s no surprise we see young adults graduating without a clear sense of direction. They struggle to find careers that satisfy them, often settling for jobs that don’t feel meaningful. This leads to dissatisfaction and a sense of being adrift in life. If education hasn’t helped them understand themselves, how can it help them navigate the professional world and beyond?Here’s the truth: chaotic parenting around education isn’t because parents don’t care. It’s because we’re all caught in a cycle of misunderstanding what education’s real purpose is. We want success but forget that true success begins with self-awareness and authentic learning.So, what can parents do differently? First, pause and reflect on your own beliefs about education. Is your focus solely on outcomes, or do you also value the process of learning and self-discovery? Then, talk to your child—not just about test scores but about what excites them, what puzzles them, and what they feel drawn to explore.Creating space for your child to find their own path within the educational journey requires patience and trust. You may not have all the answers, and that’s okay. Sometimes, it’s the questions that matter most.When education becomes a shared adventure—where curiosity and self-awareness guide the way—it transforms from a source of stress into a source of joy. And that shift can heal the relationship between parent and child, easing frustration on both sides.I encourage every parent reading this to rethink education not as a battleground but as a garden. With love, care, and understanding, we can help our children grow into their fullest selves—curious, confident, and content.Because at the end of the day, education should be about awakening the mind and heart, not just preparing a resume. When we get that right, chaos makes way for connection.